THINGS THAT CAN HELP YOU TO MOVE FORWARD. PART 1

Oh, you took it away from me

Oh society, you took it away from me

When you brainwashed me with formulas of how I should be

Shaped me and raped me of my individuality

Schooled me and fooled me

Told me what I could and could not see

Took me and shook me of my urges to be free

Alice Phoebe Lou

How many poems haven´t been written, things - been done, and songs – chanted? Just for the reason that the first thing that meets our inner creator is the “department of inner bureaucracy”. How many people do you know, who have never really lived their lives and were just continuously getting ready for a “big start”? In this article we´ll try to discover how to find the balance between planning for the future and taking an action and moving forward.

What do we call “the department of inner bureaucracy”? It is an acquired block, a defense reaction that we tend to use when we are on the crossroad and don´t know what decision to take. This department motivates us to follow the familiar way, because we were taught that if we follow this particular way, everything will be all right. Nonetheless, we forget to consider the fact that all the situation that happen with us are not passive and immovable. They depend on multiple factors which are in a constant change as well. What can we do under these circumstances of uncertainly? Face it and move with the situation, try to be attentive to changing details and try to destroy our habit of doing the same thing even if it doesn´t work. This is a pattern offered to us by society.

Do you remember, how it worked in childhood? Your parents probably used reward motivation approach. In such a way you learned: if I do X, I can achieve Y. The fact is that it doesn´t work when you grow up. Each and every person has its own way to establish this pattern, according to his/her personal background. In childhood we are explained how to do essential things. At school, we are taught how to start each new paragraph, what pattern of social behavior we should follow, and even the way we should think. However, here comes the question: “Is the freedom of thoughts important for decision-making?” Indeed! Being creative in your daily life is important. When we were kids, we were taught how to do different things in a certain way. So when we grow up we tend to follow the same instruction we received more than 30 years ago! Try to ask yourself if it is still productive and be able to face the true answer. It is not only counter-productive, it is even out of logic. Unfortunately, kids are taught to do thing in a certain way because it is more comfortable for their parents. It takes more time, effort and patience to show your children the multiplicity of existing (and not even existing) ways to get things done. But once one becomes mature, it is natural to rethink some issues and to change your attitude towards this issue. Changing the way you perceive thing can be helpful not only to arrive at some decision, but also to start doing things you have always wanted to do and to do them your way!

Accepting a change has always been difficult. It is not easy for the reason that all these years you have probably been creating a certain environment around you. This environment contains elements that are interdependent. If you destroy one element, there is always a one which comes to the rescue and replaces it. Is there any solution? Be patient and start taking responsibility for your life step by step. How determination is connected with responsibility? You really take responsibility for your life only if you actively participate in it, if it is you who takes decisions and doesn´t get carried away by external circumstances. Easy to say, but difficult to do, even if it´s obvious that big change can be beneficial for you. Here are the questions you have probably asked yourself:

• I am distressed. How do I know if I have taken the right decision?
• I´d like to know more. How can I take the right decision without having all the necessary information?
• I feel that I´m stuck. How to overcome my fear and to move forward, doing what I want to do?
   

You can´t know the answer to all of them. But here are some tips that can help you to move forward and to make a positive change in your life.

TO BE CONTINUED...